


something worth holding onto

by wintersweather



Series: hiraeth [2]
Category: Polygon/McElroy Vlogs & Podcasts RPF
Genre: M/M, wingman simone in full force
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-24
Updated: 2018-08-24
Packaged: 2019-07-01 20:22:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15781428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintersweather/pseuds/wintersweather
Summary: i was something they forgot to label "fragile"





	something worth holding onto

**Author's Note:**

> title/excerpt from "city in a garden" by fall out boy!
> 
> this is the direct sequel to "as you are rght now", so i really recommend reading that one first!

Pat's fingers hovered over Brian's contact in his phone, feeling his stomach drop. He hadn't spoken to Brian in two weeks already. Every time he pulled open his and Brian's text conversation, he felt his heart constrict.

The last message sent was from Brian.

_"i'll miss you"_

"Pat, c'mon." Simone's voice jarred him, making him glance up. "Call him, stop being stupid." She teased, a smile on her lips but her voice sincere.

Pat took a deep breath, looking between her and his phone. "I don't want to waste my lunch break on that." He said, trying to keep the melancholy tone out of his voice.

Simone slammed her hand flat on the table dramatically, the sharp noise startling Pat. "You've been moping for the past two weeks because you miss him, quit acting like you don't." She demanded, furrowing her brows. 

Pat felt a little called out. Here he was, thinking he'd been keeping his feelings on the low. That being said, Simone always had a knack for seeing through him like he was cellophane, and enacting tough love after she had figured everything out.

"You're exactly right, but I already burned that fucking bridge." Pat answered, leaning back in his seat.

Simone's face went through a multitude of emotions before settling on subtle disbelief, an eyebrow arched high. "That's not true. You know Brian," She answered, taking a sip of her tea. "he doesn't believe in burning bridges."

Pat wasn't entirely convinced despite her air of confidence. Part of it was his own pride; he _wanted_ to be right about he and Brian being doomed, in a strange way. A bigger part of him wanted to be miserably wrong. Still, he couldn't manage to hype himself up enough to text Brian.

"He's probably busy, anyway." Pat replied, locking his phone screen and pushing it away from him.

She mirrored his position, her posture more casual and loose in her chair in comparison. "He wants to hear from you, Pat." She pushed, tilting her head to the side. "Go visit him, he's only two hours away. I'll even drive you."

Pat pressed his lips together in a line. It sounded fun in a way: a trip with Simone to go chat with his boyfriend(?), mend a relationship like this was some fucked up rom-com. It also filled him with dread. "I don't think that's a good idea." Pat settled on saying after a moment of deliberation.

Simone smiled, baring her teeth. "It's a _great_ idea. I'll pick you up tomorrow morning at 8."

\- - -

They were entering New Jersey when Pat admitted something.

The drive had been pleasant, minor traffic, good weather. Simone was a decent driver, highway-wise. Other than the consistent speeding. She was a great conversationalist, kept the energy high and the topics interesting.

Still, Pat felt bad. "I should probably let you know I totally didn't text Brian to tell him we were coming." He confessed, grimacing against his will.

"What?!" Simone exclaimed. For a split second, Pat thought she was going to slam on the brakes and give them both whiplash, and probably get rear-ended on I-95. "Pat, what the fuck?"

"I'm sorry!" Pat answered, staring out the window as Simone sped down the left lane, passing car upon car. "I meant to."

"No you didn't, you son of a bitch!" She took a deep breath and held it, letting her eyes flick over to Pat for a split second. "Okay! This is fine, it'll be fine." 

Pat ran his hand through his hair. "I'm glad we're bonding." He joked, trying a smile.

Simone laughed despite herself, as loud as always. "Fuck you, Patrick Gill. I'm wasting my gas so you can see your dumb twink boyfriend!"

Pat nodded, turning up the radio and resting his head against the window. "Don't remind me."

 

The remainder of the drive went as smooth as it could. Simone parked in someone's driveway when they got into Baltimore, firing a quick text to Brian asking where he was at, under the guise of Google Earth-ing his house.

Brian was gullible and sent his address, like Pat expected him to. As chaotic as Brian could be, he was a creature of habit at heart.

As Simone pulled up to the house, Pat felt bile rise in his throat. He was nearly vibrating with anxiety, looking at the red door. It wasn't a particularly impressive house, somewhere in a suburb near downtown. Enough for three people to live in, maybe not comfortably, but it was enough. 

"Hey, calm down." Simone said calmly, patting Pat's knee before shifting her car into park. "I'm gonna go find us a cheap hotel to crash in for the night, alright? Text me when you're ready to go."

"I'm going to throw up." Pat answered, hearing his own voice shake.

Simone shook her head. "No, you're not. It's _Brian_ , Pat." Her expression softened as they made eye contact. "It's okay."

Something about her words bolstered him enough to unbuckle his seatbelt and push open the car door, stepping out onto the unrepaired sidewalk. "I'm nervous."

"Well, stop." Simone said, putting the car in drive. "You can do it."

Her tone was indicative of the conversation being over, so Pat shut the door. He turned and took a few steps towards the house, hearing Simone's car pull away behind him, taking deep breaths in and out as he approached.

Pat rang the doorbell before putting his hands in his pockets, willing them to stop shaking as he waited for an answer.

It was only a few moments before the door swung open, revealing none other than Brian David Gilbert. "Pat?" He said aloud, eyes wide behind his glasses. He looked like he had just woken up, hair mussed, in a shirt that Pat recognized as one of his own.

"Hi." Pat said lamely, smiling a little.

Brian opened the door wider. "Why are you here?"

His inflection wasn't malicious, but it made Pat want to fold in on himself. "Because I need to talk to you."

Brian stepped outside, shutting the door behind him. "You have my number." He said flatly.

Pat wasn't sure what he was anticipating. Maybe a little excitement? But after what Pat had said to him, it made sense that Brian would be less-than-thrilled. "I know, but it's not the same."

Brian nodded, sitting down on the porch, facing the sidewalk. He had a pair of shorts on, tight enough that it made Pat force himself to not stare. "Okay. I'm listening."

Pat sat beside him, their arms touching. "I'm sorry." He replied sincerely, looking at Brian's profile. The slope of his nose, his eyelashes, his chin. Just like Pat remembered, had seen a hundred times before. But Brian looked hollow this time around, exhaustion settling in his posture.

"I forgive you." Brian answered. "Thanks for coming by, Pat."

Pat raised his eyebrows. "Is that - is that it?"

"Do you have anything else to say?" Brian asked, his eyes following the sparrows hopping around in the small front yard.

Pat was at a loss for words momentarily. "Brian, I miss you so much. These past few weeks have been so hard without you." He said, then stopped himself.

Brian inhaled, shoulders rising. "It's mutual." He murmured, resting his forehead against his knees.

Pat tenatively wrapped an arm around Brian's slender shoulders, hugging him close. "I love you."

"I love you, too." Brian said, voice muffled. "I wish we could work this out somehow."

"Maybe we can."

**Author's Note:**

> i'm gnna have to do a part three i think
> 
> twitter: estcryptid  
> tumblr: easterntimecryptid


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